the way up to heaven

The new year started off pretty well, but in the past week, following a falling out with a friend, I suddenly realized how little and how much people can change all at once. The more I think about it, the more I begin to understand that this is how some people have always been. Everyone else is moving forward while they stand still, not understanding that all they need to do is make the attempt to move and it will happen.

It isn't possible to look it up online and try to read articles on how to become likable, read books on how to win friends and influence people and then tell us advice for how to "network" because it is important to build "useful connections." It is unfortunate that for some, just being yourself does not cut it. It brings to mind a robot trying desperately to understand the subtleties of human relationships and interaction. It is, regrettably, not something you can learn from a book.

There is no one size fits all user guide to making friends (and keeping them) for a reason. Thinking of people as useful connections and members of his "professional network" rather than friends may be one of the primary issues here...but, we're not following "100% tried and true techniques" by some online blogger whose primary goal in life is to passively accrue income. We are utterly unqualified to say anything on the matter.

When I can no longer remember why we are friends in the first place, we are already too far gone.

And then comes the "we are no longer friends on Facebook/Myspace/etc." Not immediately, but a few days later.

The final shock and horror, egads,! oh noes,

...but ultimately, good riddance.

neither a borrower nor a lender be

So I am writing again after quite some time.

It is Ramadan.

I have moved out of my parents house into an apartment with an old friend. We have still got some unpacking to do, even though I moved in almost a month ago.

My digital camera broke, so the whole point of making this a "my life in pictures" blog went kaput not too long after I decided that.

So, hopefully, my plan for September is to work like mad, start exercising properly again, save up loads of money, and be the proud new owner of my very own health insurance plan. $68/month? Sign me up.

and this one begins where the last one ends

I have had an eventful month or so since that last entry.

I applied for jobs, and got turned down from a few (with Keane Consulting and PetSmart).

I got an offer for a co-op in St. Louis with Monsanto, which I voluntarily turned down. In hindsight, that was probably a really, really bad decision. Getting a job is more difficult than ever, and I have gotten no other offers. I was afraid of moving away and living in a brand new, relatively dangerous city on my own for the first time. But the company itself was wonderful, the job only lasted 5 months so even if I had difficulties adjusting it would be over soon, and I could've saved so much money for upcoming events. I am now regretting my decision deeply. Who walks away from a sure thing to gamble on clutching at straws?

I'm not the gambling type, I have always preferred playing it safe. And this is why. I am not good at making bets!

One of my good friends is leaving town to go work for a strategy consulting firm in San Diego...in a week! She is a shining example of what dedication can get you, if you try hard enough. She has put up with so much from her family, but she's never stopped working to get where she wanted to go. Now she has ended up exactly where she wanted, and it shows me that if I have some direction and purpose in life, the only way to get where I want to be is to try. I've lived virtually my whole life just letting things take me wherever, and I feel like I can't keep doing that for much longer. I need to finally decide what I want to do, and, you know, just do it.

Oh, Nike. You've wrapped your stealthy marketing around all our brains.

I received a phone call from my former place of work just this past Saturday, asking if I wanted to get my job back. I was laid off in January. It eerily echoed the way I originally got that job (I walked in asking if they were hiring, the manager interviewed me on the spot, and I started work the next day). Why I intentionally went back to a place of work that requires me to be there at 5:15 am on the weekends is beyond me. But having disposable income is good, especially considering...

I just got engaged. :)

'cause over and above all, it's just another day

I haven't updated this in ages.

I haven't been doing too much though since the beginning of school. I'm starting to panic a little about not yet finding a job, but I am doing my best and applying to different things, venturing outside my comfort zone, and checking job postings regularly.

School has been going as well as I could have expected. I signed up for a lot of interesting stuff at the beginning of the year - Political Ideologies, Race and Ethnicity in Film, Religion and Popular Culture, Courtship and Marriage, Yoga and Pilates, and Strategy in Supply Chain Operations.

I have since dropped all those classes except the last three. I am currently at 8 credit hours for my last semester of my senior year! I don't know how exactly I ended up here. I slowly become disenchanted with every class...they were much more work than I had anticipated. Now I have a lot of books I need to be selling on half.com.

Out of all my classes, the yoga is by far the best. I have learned a lot and am becoming much stronger and more flexible. My King Piegon Pose is getting better and better! If I went to the gym more regularly, I would start to get in better shape even more quickly. I just never seem to find the time.

Which is just as well, because at home I currently have a jump rope, a set of small weights (3 lbs), an ab ball and a hula hoop!

Regardless of what people say, hula hooping is much more difficult than it looks. You try it.

morning stars in your eyes, your hand in mine

My new year's eve festivities were interesting. I went to my boyfriend's house and ate a lot of cocktail shrimp, met extended family members and tried to dodge those whose names I could not recall, helped do a lot of dishes, and got home around 3:30 am. I had enough cocktail shrimp to last me the remainder of the year (I lost count after about 30 of them. If you're losing count of how many shrimp you've eaten, it's safe to say you've eaten too many). Here are some pictures of things that were at the party:




This year, I am not going to have any expectations at all. I have a few resolutions, though, in order of "going to be really difficult and irritating to the max" to "relatively easy, don't even know why it's a 'resolution.'"

a) Get in better shape. It's more of an overall fitness thing than "I need to lose weight." More accurately, "I need to lose fat."
b) Find a job. This is going to be extraordinarily tricky with the economy in the state it is, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
c) Be more punctual. I am always a bit late with everything, and would like to change that.
d) Graduate with a 3.4 so I can say I graduated with honors. :D

It will be challenging, but 2009 is the year of change. It can happen.

In conclusion, here's a picture of myself and the beloved laughing about what's going to come in the new year. I'm the blurry one with the ridiculous party hat.

she believe in shoes and cars

Maybe not cars.

Actually, maybe not shoes, either. But I do like shopping for them, especially at stores like Ross and T.J. Maxx where the inventory changes weekly and there are always closeout bargains for those willing to look.

First up were these gold sandals.

The only pair I have is excruciatingly high heeled and makes me want to slice off my feet a lá Cinderella's ugly stepsister from the original Grimm's fairy tale. These would have been just tight if it hadn't been for the pencil-thin heel. They felt like a very classy way to break an ankle.

After deciding against those, I moved on to these brown heels. Aside from blending in a little too well with my skintone, they seemed pretty hot. Very Carrie Bradshaw from the beginning of the SATC movie. Dramatic and striking. Unfortunately, these were also...


nearly 3 sizes too big. I saw these were a 9, when I'm a 6.5 - 7 normally. Upon examination, I couldn't find another pair, either, so that was the end of that.

I moved on to these gladiator-esque multicolored wedges. They looked like something straight off a runway, and though I was desperately tempted, I knew I would never end up wearing them because the rest of my clothing would not fit with such elaborately constructed shoes. Also, as you can see here,


they have zero support in the front of the shoe. For heels that high, I would much rather they have a bit of a platform in the front for comfort. Just wearing these in the store for a few minutes was already making my feet ache.

Evidently I'm not cut out for frequently wearing sexy, fancy sandals and heels, although part of me wishes I were because heels do such fabulous things for the appearance of your legs. At 5'2" I really should get all the help I can in terms of looking less stumpy and short, but I usually end up going with a pair of comfortable shoes. My daily style consists of T-shirts, jeans, and interesting (flat) sandals. I can appreciate really sexy, high shoes, but I'm too much of a bum and not into putting that much effort into looking good.

As I was leaving, I ended up staring at a pair of aggressively sparkly and seductively tacky pink Converse All Stars. I couldn't justify spending $25.00 on a pair of sneakers, though, since I rarely wear them at all. And they were quite loud and bright, even for me...though, I'll admit, significantly less so than their red sequined counterparts.

I ended up not buying any shoes at all, which was just as well. I have way too many shoes I don't wear often enough anyway. Oh, and don't ask me what that stupid pink ball is doing in all those pictures in the background, I don't know. :)

I need a Winn Dixie grocery bag full of money

Yeah, I can't say that wouldn't be nice! But money isn't my motivator. I just want to be happy, and there are so many directions I could go.

I'm 21, about to graduate from college, and I am constantly tempted to try new things. I am drawn to all things bright and possibly borderline tacky. I am a business major and looking for a job, but who knows how that's going to go. I get along with nearly anyone, but sometimes, I take the whole "go with the flow" thing a little too literally. I'm like a rock just tumbling down a stream, getting polished and changed by all the things I meet on my way.

But if you can roll right along with me, we will get along fine.